When it comes to the ancient art of feng shui, what we all seem to know about it is that the placement of your couch, your toilet, and your office chair all affect the flow that comes through your being. As the saying goes, “Move your stuff, change your life.”
But did you know you can apply the fundamentals of the practice to aspects of your life? It’s true. And one of the big life areas where feng shui can really get you revved is your sex life.
If you’re not completely clear on the concept, it’s okay – feng shui expert Ariel Joseph Towne, also known as The Feng Shui Guy, has all the details you need to know to turn your sex life into a luscious, passionate and memorable experience. And all it takes is a little reorganization – of your living space, and your thoughts!
So how do you create the guidelines in which you teach people to feng shui their sex lives?
This is not about me claiming to have some kind of experience on a mountain top, I’m in dialogue with friends and loved ones and people who range the gamut, and we can borrow and draw from everyone.
So how can people learn to apply feng shui to something other than objects?
Feng shui is a process that has a series of principals. In my experience, what I’ve been interested in exploring and discovering is the principals that live in every culture – their philosophies and how they crossover, because feng shui isn’t just Chinese principals, it’s universal principals.
So if you understand the principal you can apply to anything. You can feng shui a desk, a website, your bedroom… and yes, a lot of people start with furniture and hear that it’s about stuff, but it’s limiting to discuss feng shui based on it just being stuff. If it doesn’t have the purpose of calling in something specific, it’s hard to tell if it’s working if you don’t have a clear intention.
So for those who choose to start applying the principals of feng shui to their sex life, what can it do for them?
I think that most people may agree that their mood and the way they feel would certainly affect their experience of sex, whatever the desire is – whether it be down and dirty, slow and intimate or a quickie, you have to feel in the mood and be in your body to really connect to it. If you’re connected to your senses and connecting with all the senses, your anticipation is heightened. Using feng shui on you and your environment, whether internal or external, heightens the sensation or experience, and gives you influence over what you intend to receive.
What are some sexy feng shui tips novices can use?
The first thing is to get rid of anything that makes feel self conscious – pictures of grandma, things that relate to your spiritual beliefs, especially if they may shine judgment on sexual expression. It’s good to have an altar or place of worship, but maybe don’t put your crucifix over your bed if makes you feel guilty.
Definitely de-clutter, and get rid of things that smell funky or distract you. A lot of times bedrooms become dumping grounds for clothes, things from your office, a second gym… if you’re trying to get things going and you’re looking at the stairmaster in the corner, thinking about how much you should be working out, then you might get into a bad place that will take you out of the mood. So basically, get rid of anything that doesn’t set you up for success.
At one point in time or another, we all go through a period where we cocoon and withdraw from others for whatever reason.
So what are your tips for someone who is coming out of their cocooning period and is starting to get their spark back?
In feng shui terms and numerologically, we have to connect to ourselves before we can connect to another, so the number one is essential. Light one candle, turn on one bedroom lamp, set everything around you up for yourself and do everything to nurture yourself. That could mean taking long baths, feeding yourself something delicious, and turning yourself on before you can share that with another person.
During the cocooning period, you might need more intellectual stimulation, extra rest, walks, or it could be you need something more extreme to work things out, where you need to be punching and using your voice. Once you get out whatever it is that needs to be purged, you can rest and rebalance, beautify and add in a little bit at a time. Turn yourself on. Treat yourself like you’re going to a spa, maybe take an S Factor class, watch something that puts into a mood, and create a vision board of passion and romance, maybe including some erotica. Use imagery and sound. Play with the senses and turn yourself on, then instruct your lover as to what they can do for you… and vice versa.
What if you already have an awesome sex life – will feng shui work in any way in that instance?
Yes, but I think I might be coming to them for tips! But really, it depends – what’s their intention? Do they want it to be even greater, or do they want less of it? Maybe they want their bedroom to be more of a sanctuary. Maybe if they’re so active all the time, they walk around blissfully exhausted and really need a break.
What’s your one “go to” personal tip?
You know, I think it depends on whether I’m in my own environment or taking the show on the road. I’m about problem solving, so when I’m in someone else’s space, I want to do at least one thing to make me comfortable in that space – something like having a glass of water handy, extra pillows for the low back, even scented candles. But I don’t think it’s about any one thing more than a state of mind, which is all about inner shui. And I don’t think there’s anything that gets me there faster than music.